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Wednesday, 15 April 2015

Being the shoulder to cry on

In my "almost" 24 years on this planet I have come to realise that certain people have certain roles in their relationships. Speaking from a girls perspective, in High School and College you've got the mean girls, the model-types, the popular girls, the geeks and those who sit somewhere in between.  But amongst all of that time at school where some battle through everyday hoping they won't get teased again and others are dealing with their traumatic "does he love me" dramas we have ingrained in our minds than in a few years this will be over and we can live amongst the adults.

We are conditioned to believe by those older than us that everything will change once you leave school. It won't matter whether you were the most popular kid in school or the toughest or the one that everyone wanted to be like because when you leave those doors you leave those labels behind. Because nobody gives a shit who you were in high school.

And strictly speaking job-wise this is true, unless your going for something like a modelling job, it doesn't matter if your not 5ft6 size 8, 32C goddess (If your reading this and meet these credentials give yourself a high five you meet my ideals). Your ability to work hard and meet expectations is of much greater importance than how many boys liked you or how many girls called you their Queen Bee. And sometimes Karma has a nice way of coming through for the kids that were once called losers by the people now calling them boss.

But for friendships and social status, the roles will always still be there just under a different title. The gorgeous friend that all the boys/girls drool over who although they could be the nicest person in the world, always makes you feel slightly inadequate on a night out. The dramatic one, who could talk for endless hours about the dramas in their lives, often forgetting to ask you about your own life. The funny one who is always there when you need some light hearted relief, but not so great in a serious situation. And lastly, the reliable one who is always there when you need them, tends to say yes to any last minute favours and is always the best shoulder to cry on.

But maybe life is not so black and white and maybe it's easier for people to fall into these roles rather than show the real them. The gorgeous one that appears to ooze confidence might need the attention from others to distract from the insecurities they have about themselves, the dramatic one might need to keep the drama going on in their life because they need something going on to keep them from being forgotten. The funny one may be hiding behind a mask of being the life and soul because in reality their quite sad and talking about that is too hard for them. And the reliable one, who is always there might just be fighting their own battle but doesn't think anybody would stick around to be their shoulder to cry on.

I know which one I am, do you?

Stereotypes & social roles will never leave us but we have to remember that not everything is exactly how it seems all the time. People tend to have a good skill of hiding who they really are to match up to the expectations that others have of them.


xxx

Wednesday, 29 October 2014

Success

What defines success?
Money?
Power?
Having a family?
Finding true love?

All of the above?

Or, is our success only determined by how others deem us to be? How many times do people play down their individual achievements to others for fear of them not being impressive enough. From now on I'm saying screw them bitches.

No longer will I allow others to make me feel less worthy because their definition of successful is not the same as mine.

Life can be shit, be proud of what you've done and how you are living your life. No one person is perfect, no one person has the perfect life. Some may be able to go and spend thousands of pounds on a designer handbag but they might not have the closeness of family to keep them grounded. Besides unless I win the lottery anytime soon I'm not going to wake up with the money in my bank account to go on a shopping spree. But I have a best friend that I can share my two for one voucher at Prezzo's with.

It's the small things.

Monday, 27 October 2014

Masks

So it's been a while. I wish I could say it's all gone brilliantly since I last wrote. But I doubt if things were good I'd be writing. Because when your happy it's harder to feel the need to express your self in a manner like this. It's only when things are shit you feel like turning on the computer and venting on the only open space on this vast universe of the internet, that I can call mine.

The feeling of not being good enough is one that troubles most. I'm not thin enough, not clever enough, not pretty enough, not successful enough, not rich enough. These going round and round in your head on a daily basis whilst you watch others flourish is not the best way to live a life. I work in office doing a rather mundane job and the other day my colleague told me that I had too big a character to work where I do. That I'm funny and need to be doing something creative. It shocked me because then I realised that everyday when I put on my makeup I am putting on my character. The happy, class clown me that everyone can rely on to ask advice because I'm dependable. I'm there, I'm always there.

And then I see something on telly, or read in the news. People dying, struggling to survive. People with real  issues, real problems to cry about. Every single day there are people all around the world experiencing heartbreak. I watch a VT of a young girl that died of cancer last week. She said that all she wanted was to live to see her brother get married, see her friends daughter grow up. She wanted to fall in love and get married, she was a teenager and she spent most of her short life suffering, fighting to live. Suddenly stressing over getting a better job and being several stones overweight doesn't seem important anymore. It's actually embarrassing, what a problem to have hey.

Not being good enough is shit, but if it's the only thing I have to work on, to fight through then I'll take it because so many others do not have the opportunity to stress over the little things. But until I work it out I'll put on my mask, my character as the dependable care-free me because honestly it is the only way I publicly know how to be.




Thursday, 16 May 2013

Money...

Money. I've always been bad with it, credit cards and overdrafts are not my friends. Throughout the whole of University I completely abused the favct that banks were happy to give students as much money as possible, leaving me, three years later, with a hell of a lot of excess debt to pay off and not alot to show for it.
Funny Cry for Help Ecard: I look forward to paying off all of my debt, and finally getting back to just being broke.

 To be able to go to all the places I want to, I need as much money as I can which in turn means getting a job. I have a job intereview tomorrow which I really, really need. First impressions count and all that jazz!
Finger Crossed!
xxxx

Wednesday, 15 May 2013

The difficult first post...

                                 Starting something new is always hard. So how about a quote?
 

Seems pretty appropriate for me right now,

It's never too late to turn your day around

xx